First Times
by elarielf
Summary: From cgkinkmemeii. PROMPT: Suzaku and Lelouch are both virgins and want to go have sex. Everything is great until Lelouch starts to feel uneasy and tries to get Suzaku to stop. Suzaku, reading all of those "no" means "yes" vanilla doujinshi & manga, continues on thinking Lelouch wants him to. Lelouch explains that "no" really does mean "no". Explicit, M/M, dubconny moments.


"So you're sure about this?"

"Yes."

"Really sure?"

"Absolutely."

"Did you watch that porno flick I sent over?"

_No, how the hell could I, what do you think I am, some kind of pervert_? "Mmm…" Lelouch's answer was the textbook definition of noncommittal.

"Great!" Suzaku took Lelouch's answer at face value, grinning the same cheerful, boyish grin that had first won over Lelouch's heart (you know… _after_ the whole Suzaku beating the snot out of him and Lelouch resenting him for weeks thing) and leaned over to give Lelouch the sweetest peck on the lips.

Right. That's why he was doing this. Because Suzaku.

Sex had never been something that Lelouch had really thought about. It was up there with money and power in terms of useful tools of manipulation, but Lelouch understood power and money far better than he understood sex. Even when Suzaku kissed him and touched him, and he kissed and touched Suzaku back, it hadn't been about sex for Lelouch, not really.

But it had been for comfort and for affection and, overall, for Suzaku. So really, it was inevitable that they'd end up like this, alone for the evening, in Lelouch's room, about to have sex.

Lelouch had mentally prepared himself as best he could (_without_ watching the porn, thank you very much, Suzaku) but he'd been surprised (and a little unnerved) when Suzaku told him this was his first time too. For some reason, Lelouch had assumed that Suzaku was more… experienced.

On the other hand, it evened things out a little, them being on the same footing. Lelouch was determined to be optimistic about this.

Suzaku's grin looked even more mischievous than usual from barely an inch away, and Lelouch found himself helplessly smiling back, easily opening under the soft kisses Suzaku pressed against his lips, letting Suzaku pull off his shirt and…

"Wait."

Suzaku stopped. "What?"

Lelouch, shirtless and lips tingling from all the kissing, slid out from under Suzaku (…when, exactly, had that happened?) and off the bed. "Just let me grab some things." He smiled. "I'll be right back. Feel free to make yourself more… _comfortable_."

Suzaku chuckled and Lelouch felt something flutter in his stomach. They were really going to do this. He wasn't sure if he was excited or anxious or what, but he was certain that he trusted Suzaku to treat him right, and that he'd do his best for Suzaku in return.

He fished out the lube (taking a moment to scrape off the price tag) and a condom. Then, on second thought, two more condoms. Just in case the first one didn't work or… or it did and they needed another one because…

Maybe he was getting ahead of himself.

When he turned around, Suzaku was shirtless as well, with the front of his pants undone and a noticeable bulge between the "V" of his open zipper.

Lelouch swallowed.

"Wow, you seriously got ready for this didn't you?" Suzaku said, sounding impressed. "This means you're okay with… going all the way?"

_Honestly_. "If you can't say it, you're probably not mature enough to do it," Lelouch chided. "Yes, Suzaku. I'm okay with having sex with you."

"…you're blushing."

"Shut up."

Suzaku laughed and pulled Lelouch towards the bed, wrapping his arms around Lelouch's waist and bowing his head to kiss just over Lelouch's navel. "Come back to bed."

Lelouch dropped the lube and condoms onto the bedspread and buried his fingers in Suzaku's hair as he crawled onto the bed, planting his knees on either side of Suzaku's, moaning breathily as Suzaku kissed up his stomach and chest, over his neck and jaw, and finally capturing his lips again.

This was… nice. _Really_ nice. Kissing Suzaku always was, but this was nice on a whole different level. Scarily nice, if such a thing were possible. There was a part of Lelouch that would be content to just spend the rest of his life like this, wrapped up in Suzaku's arms, with Suzaku kissing him and caressing him and pressing him down on the bed, his body warm and solid on top of Lelouch's, more comforting than intimidating.

And then Suzaku's hands were fumbling at Lelouch's pants, and Lelouch realized that he was leaving 'nice' behind and entering a whole new realm. "Su-Suzaku…"

"Yeah?" Suzaku asked, pausing with Lelouch's pants half down his thighs.

"…this is a little awkward."

Suzaku looked at their positions, Lelouch's legs on either side of his, Suzaku's torso in the way of pants removal. "Um… here." He scooted back. "Bend your knees a bit… Ah, there." He grinned proudly as he worked Lelouch's pants off, flourishing them triumphantly. "How's that?"

_Naked_. "Fine. Just… get your pants off and get back here."

Suzaku's grin widened as he did as ordered.

The kissing had an extra element of excited passion now, with Suzaku's body cradled between Lelouch's legs, his chest rubbing against Lelouch's as they moved and kissed and gasped together. Everything felt new and raw and _more_, the heat of Suzaku's body, the softness of his lips, the sharpness of his teeth, every single callous of his hand as it slid over Lelouch's skin, like he had every right to be there, like he _owned_ him…

"You feel so good, Lelouch," Suzaku breathed against Lelouch's throat. "So soft and perfect. I can't believe this is really happening…"

So. Maybe Suzaku wasn't quite as cocksure as he seemed. "It's happening. I want it to happen. Suzaku, I want…"

Suzaku kissed him, hard and deep and needy, with one hand fisted in Lelouch's hair and the other one gripping his hip as he thrust his hips forward, all coiled strength and barely restrained power moving against Lelouch with a rhythm and focus based entirely in instinct and impulse. The friction and heat were _amazing_, chasing away every last lingering doubt in Lelouch's mind as Suzaku rutted against him, sweat and precome easing the friction into something so close to perfect…

Lelouch could barely feel the burning in his thighs as he tightened them around Suzaku's waist, his ears filled with the sound of rushing blood and Suzaku's groans and his own, "Oh, Suzaku, oh please, oh… _please_…" interrupted only by short, desperate kisses as Suzaku's hand slipped off Lelouch's hip to wrap around both their cocks, the added pressure and friction pushing Lelouch over the edge as he arched and came, Suzaku's name falling broken from his lips.

Perfection.

When he came down from his high, he could feel everything – the cool air, the cooling liquid, Suzaku's strong thighs, warm where they were still propping Lelouch's legs up. He smiled up at Suzaku, who was fumbling a condom open, his own erection still obviously in need of release.

"Here." Lelouch took the condom from him. "Let me."

Suzaku's eyes were wide as they followed Lelouch's hands, as they slowly and carefully rolled the condom over his cock. "Oh, _fuck_, Lelouch…"

Yes, that was the next step. Lelouch was more than ready. "Come on, then." He smeared a generous amount of lube over Suzaku's cock and lay back, canting his hips slightly. "Suzaku…"

"God, Lelouch, I love your voice." Suzaku squeezed his eyes shut, trembling slightly he was so affected. It made Lelouch feel powerful, that he could bring Suzaku to this state, just by lying naked beneath him, whispering invitations.

When Suzaku opened his eyes, Lelouch nearly shivered at the power of that gaze, hyperfocused and intent, as if Lelouch was the only thing in the whole world. He shifted forward, spreading Lelouch's legs further apart and pressed against him.

At first, it felt good. The lube was a little cold, but the pressure of Suzaku's cock against Lelouch's ass felt… _right_. Then the pressure increased to the point of a mild burning pain, and Lelouch breathed deeply, trying to relax. "Suzaku…"

"You're so tight." Suzaku's voice held warmth and adoration. "I can't wait…" He pushed in and Lelouch felt something give way, possibly tear.

"Suzaku! You're… it's too big!"

Suzaku groaned. "Yeah, just… keep talking like that…" He pressed in further, and the burning sensation spread. "So good, so hot…"

"No, it… _stop_, Suzaku, it hurts!"

"It'll get better," Suzaku promised. "It's just 'cause this is your first time."

"I don't _care_, it hurts! Get out!"

"Shh…" Suzaku stroked Lelouch's thigh, pressing in further, against a second ring of pressure. "I'll try to find your sweet spot, just relax…"

"I tried to, it's not…" _Fuck this_. Lelouch twisted beneath Suzaku, his hands gripping the headboard as he tried to pull himself away from Suzaku's clinging, invading body, tightening his anal muscles to try to expel him. Suzaku groaned and his grip shifted from holding Lelouch to holding him in place. There was a breathless moment of panic as Lelouch realized that he couldn't overpower Suzaku, there was no way, and he lashed out blindly, not even caring if he hurt Suzaku, just wanting this all to _stop_!

"Ow, dammit, Lelouch!" The sensation of his knee flailing into Suzaku's side was soon followed by the sensation of Suzaku pulling out, fast and sudden, which was at least as painful as having him inside had been. Lelouch bit back a scream, glaring up at the idiotic _moron_ who…

Who was looking back at him with wide, wounded green eyes, lost and confused and _hurt_… "What was that for?"

Any sharp retort Lelouch could have made died on his lips. Anger wouldn't help anything – Suzaku hadn't been cruel, just… thick-headed.

Which didn't take away the sharp pains that were still shooting up Lelouch's backside, no matter how Lelouch shifted. "I told you to stop."

"Yeah, but… you were so into it," Suzaku said, almost whining. "You said you wanted this, and I…" His eyes dropped and then widened. "…is that blood?"

Lelouch looked down. Sure enough, the spot on the sheet where Lelouch had been lying before he curled up into a ball to try to relieve the pain was streaked red. "I think so." He gingerly prodded between his buttocks, wincing at the pain and making a face at his finger, red-tipped and sticky-slick, when he pulled away. "Yeah."

"Oh…" Suzaku looked sick. "I…"

Lelouch had a split second in which to act – Suzaku looked on the verge of fleeing or doing that thing where he shut down and hid inside his guilt and couldn't be reached. Ignoring the physical pain for a moment, Lelouch launched himself forward, one hand grabbing onto Suzaku's shoulder for balance, the other cupping his cheek, forcing Suzaku (who had already been turning away from Lelouch, eyes dim, mouth turned down) to face him. Before Suzaku could say or do anything, Lelouch kissed him, pressing his body against Suzaku's in the strongest possible tactile comfort he could offer.

"Don't. Don't run away from this, Suzaku." He kissed Suzaku again, wishing that his usual skill with words, knowing just what to say to get what he wanted, didn't always desert him when it came to Suzaku. "Please, we can… we can make this okay."

There was a long moment of nothing, and then Suzaku's hand came up to rest gently on the small of Lelouch's back, trembling slightly as he held him. "Lelouch, I… I'm so…"

Lelouch wanted to tell him it was okay. But… it wasn't really. He was still hurting and bleeding, and Suzaku… "What happened back there?"

"I don't know what you mean," Suzaku said, still confused, but at least addressing the issue. "Everything was going fine until… it wasn't."

"Yeah, it was good until… what were you _thinking_?" Suzaku flinched. "Sorry, that's not what I…" Lelouch sighed, frustrated at having to deal with Suzaku's tender feelings while the aches and pains below his waist reminded him of his own tender issues. "Why didn't you stop?"

Suzaku looked down. "I thought you were just… I dunno, acting like that guy in the movie."

"What movie?" Lelouch asked, the words leaving his mouth just as the answer came to him. "You thought I was imitating a _porn actor_?"

"Um. Yeah?"

This couldn't be borne. "That's ridiculous! I've been nothing but genuine and honest with you and… and even if I were to imitate someone else it wouldn't be a porn actor and _I never watched the damn movie_!"

Suzaku frowned. "But you said…"

Lelouch pushed himself up and off the bed, wincing as that caused pain to shoot up, oddly enough not from his ass, but from his left thigh. Suzaku was there immediately, contrite and attentive. "Lelouch!"

"It's fine, it's…" Lelouch smiled wryly. "I think I strained a muscle earlier. Um…" He could feel his face flushing. "From the part that was still… ah… good."

"Oh." Now Suzaku looked even more confused. Lelouch shrugged.

"Just because it hurts now, doesn't mean I didn't like it when it was happening. It's the stuff that hurt while it was happening that was the problem."

"But you're still hurt now," Suzaku said. "Maybe we shouldn't…"

Lelouch kissed him. "Stop that. Just because it didn't work this time doesn't mean it can't work. We'll just have to figure out what we did wrong and fix it." And unfortunately, that meant… "Starting with that _movie_ you bought."

Suzaku nodded tentatively. "Just warning you… the plot's not the greatest."

That was likely the understatement of the century. Lelouch wondered why they even bothered with the plot. After ten painful minutes, Suzaku offered to fast forward to the sex scenes. Lelouch gratefully accepted.

He tried not to be insulted that, while the lead (and top) was impressively endowed and well-muscled, the bottom was… well, effeminate was putting it kindly. The few shots that featured his genitalia at all seemed to be minimizing rather than accentuating, and even then, the focus was more on what the lead was doing _to_ him than on his own actions.

The only thing that wasn't utterly passive about him was his mouth.

"_What the hell are you doing, idiot?"_

"_Quiet. If the others find us…"_

"_I don't care! You can't just barge in here and do whatever you want!"_

"_Sorry. Just let me… a little more…"_

"_Ah! You… so suddenly…"_

"_Hush."_

"_I'm telling you to stop! I… _hnn_…"_

"_There, see? Isn't that better?"_

"_Wai… wait…"_

"_Don't worry. I'll make you feel good."_

"_Ah~ It's so big and hard~"_

"_Yeah, it is… just the way you like it."_

"_More. _More. **More!**"

Lelouch turned the TV off. For a long moment, he and Suzaku sat in an awkward silence.

"Okay. So. I still do not understand the appeal of pornography."

"…it's an acquired taste?"

Lelouch glared. "You seriously thought that I… That this…" He gestured at the black screen. "Did he remind you of me?"

"Kinda?" Suzaku said, immediately backtracking as Lelouch's face clearly showed what he thought of _that_. "I mean, he was slim and pretty and kind of flaily and I'm not helping my case, am I?"

"Not really," Lelouch huffed. "Suzaku, I'm sure we can have sex. People have done it before, people who weren't nearly as smart and clever as us. But in order for that to happen, I think we need two things." He rounded on Suzaku. "First: More research. I knew enough to get condoms and lubrication, but apparently there's more to it than that. Secondly: Trust. We need to be honest with each other, and we need to trust that honesty. When I ask you to stop, Suzaku, you need to _stop_."

Suzaku nodded. "I… I didn't think…"

"And, after watching this, I can see why. But that… whatever that was, it wasn't the real world. In the real world, things don't get better just 'cause you say they will. We might need a few tries at it, we might make more mistakes. But the only way we'll get through it is by working together." Lelouch smiled and held out his hand. "And together…"

"…we can do anything," Suzaku finished with a smile, the first Lelouch had seen since he'd kicked Suzaku off him. "Um… but not today, right? I don't think I could do anything anyways right now."

Lelouch could still feel the aches in his body. "No, not today."

"Kay. Um. Then maybe we should get dressed? Not that sitting around your living room naked watching porn isn't fun…"

Lelouch swatted Suzaku's arm at that, his breath catching in his throat when Suzaku caught his hand and brought it up to his lips. "…Suzaku…"

"I love it when you look at me like that."

Lelouch smiled. "We're going to figure this out."

"'Course. Well, you will and I'll be all impressed with how smart you are." Suzaku's warm smile faltered, his eyes softening in concern. "_Are_ you okay? I mean… really?"

Lelouch nodded. "There wasn't much blood, and it stopped pretty fast. It's still a little sore, but the muscle strain in my thigh's actually bugging me more now."

"Want a massage?"

"You can do those?"

"Kind of." Suzaku grinned. "I can try, at least, and this time if you tell me to stop, I will. Promise."

Lelouch couldn't help but smile back. "Alright." They returned to Lelouch's room and Lelouch lay on his stomach, hugging a pillow as Suzaku's hands worked over his legs and lower back.

It felt heavenly.

"…Lelouch?"

"Mmm?"

"Remember when I said I didn't think I could do anything?"

"Mmm."

"That's… not entirely true anymore."

Lelouch laughed lightly, rolling over. "Come here." He reached for Suzaku's erection as Suzaku kissed him, crawling over him in almost the exact same position they'd been in earlier. But this time, Lelouch made sure that it was all about Suzaku's pleasure rather than his own, until Suzaku gasped and collapsed against him.

As Suzaku came down, Lelouch frowned thoughtfully. Suzaku kissed the side of his mouth. "What?"

"…we left that movie in the player downstairs," Lelouch said, half disgusted with himself for being so careless, half just… disgusted.

Suzaku started laughing.

OoO-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-OoO

"From what I've read, we skimped on the foreplay."

"Yeah. By… a lot. How's your… did you… is it healed?"

"It's fine. It was a little sore the next day, but it's all better now. If you wanted to… I mean, if you had free time tonight…"

"Yeah! I mean… yeah. That sounds good. Should I come over?"

"Sure. About eight?"

"Kay. Oh! I think the brand of lube you bought doesn't work well with condoms, so I'll bring over a different one."

"Is that even an issue? I had no idea… Alright."

"There's flavoured ones too. They have chocolate, but I think it's milk chocolate, not dark chocolate like you like. Wait a sec, I'll ask–"

"You'll… Suzaku, are you in public right now?"

"Kinda? I'm at the porn shop where I bought that movie. Clarice has been really helpful with suggestions. You wouldn't think a girl would know much about anal sex, but it turns out that they do it too, sometimes!"

"…Suzaku…"

"Is that a 'no' on the flavoured lube?"

"How did you even get in there? You're underage."

"Military ID. No one asks questions. I think I'll just get the smooth glide one."

"…fine. See you at eight."

"Kay. Love you!"

"I love you too."

It was a good thing Suzaku was being so… _Suzaku_ about all this, because Lelouch was starting to feel like a nervous wreck. Nunnally, naturally, had noticed and offered to stay home rather than go out with her friends. Lelouch thanked her, but refused, wanting to face this with Suzaku no matter what and not wanting to ruin Nunnally's evening.

She left at seven, which gave Lelouch a full hour to fret. He tidied his already tidy room, took a shower, and was just about to strip the bed of its clean bedsheets and replace them with _different_ clean bedsheets, when the doorbell rang.

_Suzaku._

Lelouch felt his stomach flutter, far more anxious than he'd been the first time they'd tried this. What if, despite all the preparations and study, this didn't work? After all, things had gone horribly wrong last time, although at least there were no long-term lingering effects. Except this awful feeling of dread.

What if they just weren't… meant to be?

He swallowed down his fear, opening the door and coming face-to-face with Suzaku, carrying a brown paper bag and wearing casual clothes and a hopeful, tentative smile. "Hey, Lelouch."

"Hey." They stood like that for a long moment and then Lelouch launched himself into Suzaku's arms, kissing him fiercely and wrapping his legs around Suzaku's waist, forcing him to carrying Lelouch into the house before Lelouch had him right then and there in the doorway, where anyone could see them.

Lelouch didn't care. He just _wanted_.

"I thought about this all day," Suzaku confessed as he pressed Lelouch up against the door, his hands digging into Lelouch's hips. "I was so afraid you wouldn't want me…"

"I was thinking about you too," Lelouch gasped out, deciding not to mention his own fears, that this wouldn't work, that they wouldn't work out. "Fuck me, please."

Suzaku groaned and buried his face in Lelouch's neck, already hard and grinding against Lelouch's pelvis. He felt so good, and Lelouch _had_ been planning on getting them both off before trying for 'the main event'. And he kneww full well how much Suzaku enjoyed his voice. "Suzaku, please. I want you in me. I want it so badly, I want it to work, I want _us_ to work, and I know we can, I just…" He groaned as Suzaku thrust against him, hard and desperate. "Yes, that… more, please, Suzaku, _please_…"

Suzaku came first this time. Lelouch followed soon after, as Suzaku's fingers dug into his skin, his cries wet and muffled by Lelouch's throat. As they sank to the floor, Lelouch realized that, even if this didn't work, they'd always have this.

"Love you," Suzaku murmured.

Lelouch kissed his cheek. "Let's go to bed."

Before they did anything, Lelouch turned down the bed, sitting on the sheets rather than the quilt (they'd be easier to clean – it had taken multiple scrubbings to get the blood and lube out). He patted the bed for Suzaku to sit next to him.

"So… what next?" Suzaku asked.

Lelouch bit his lip. This didn't have the spontaneity and fun of their last encounter (except for what they'd just done in the hall) but it was probably safer this way until they knew what they were doing. "Let's get naked first."

The sight of Suzaku naked would probably always give Lelouch a little thrill. His clothes hid so much – the lithe muscles, the broad shoulders, those amazing abs… Suzaku, similarly, couldn't seem to tear his eyes away from Lelouch as Lelouch slipped out of his clothes.

"Do you always fold them after taking them off?"

"…usually."

"Even the underwear?"

"Is this really the conversation you want to be having right now?"

"…no." Suzaku stepped forward, carefully placing one hand on Lelouch's hip. "Can I kiss you?"

Lelouch smiled and mirrored Suzaku, stepping in closer so that their bodies almost touched. "Of course."

They took their time with this kiss, keeping it soft and gentle, even as it deepened. Lelouch could feel the heat radiating from Suzaku's body despite the fact that they were barely touching. It was incredibly erotic, in its way.

Given how intimate this was, was penetrative sex even really that important?

"What are you thinking about?" Suzaku asked, pulling away.

Lelouch flushed. Suzaku could always tell when his mind wandered. "Just that… this feels so good, just this… Do we really need more?"

"If you don't want to…"

"I do!" He really did, Lelouch realized. It had become almost a point of honour. "But, even if we can't, even if this doesn't work… we still have so much together."

Suzaku smiled. "You're right." He kissed Lelouch softly, shortly. "You're so right, Lelouch."

Lelouch moved back, pulling Suzaku with him until he was lying back on the bed, with Suzaku cradled between his legs, still not touching apart from their hands on each other's hips and the soft kisses they pressed against each other's lips.

"How do you want to do this?" Lelouch asked.

"Clarice said – ow!"

"Don't talk about other people when we're having sex!"

Suzaku laughed. "I… _fine_. A disinterested third party suggested oral sex while I prepare you. Apparently when her boyfriend does it, he sucks on her clit and – _ow_! Sorry!"

"I don't even have one of those!"

Suzaku kissed him. "But you do have a cock. And I've kinda always wanted to…"

He blushed. Lelouch blushed in return. This was starting to feel awkward, but in a kind of wonderful way. Giddy, almost. "…okay."

Suzaku grinned. "Okay!" He kissed Lelouch's lips again, then his throat and over his clavicle, his chest, his abdomen, his hip… Lelouch sighed with pleasure as Suzaku took his time, tracing his way down towards Lelouch's groin, his warm hand smoothing under Lelouch's balls and cock, lifting it to his lips, until Lelouch could feel his breath against the tip.

He paused. "Tell me if any of this feels wrong."

Lelouch barely managed to bite back a growl of annoyance. "As long as you listen to me this time."

Suzaku laughed, and Lelouch could actually feel his erection jerk at that. "Understood." And he took Lelouch into his mouth and sucked.

It felt amazing – hot, wet, with strong suction and friction, no scrape of teeth. If this was how Suzaku had felt inside Lelouch, Lelouch supposed he could understand why Suzaku had been reluctant to stop.

Not that that was an excuse, really. Just… it was understandable. Lelouch felt certain he never wanted _this_ to stop.

He missed the sound of Suzaku opening the lube, so the cool pressure against his ass was a surprise. He yelped softly and jumped a little. Suzaku immediately drew back. "You okay?"

"Yeah, just… cold. Wasn't ready." Lelouch reached out, pulling Suzaku's head back down. "Keep going."

Suzaku grinned at him before ducking his head and taking him back in. Lelouch leaned back and sighed with pleasure, until Suzaku's finger pressed into him and his sigh turned into a groan. "Hnn, yesss…" _This_ was what it was supposed to feel like. Suzaku grinned around his cock and Lelouch bit back another moan as Suzaku slid another finger in, stretching him past the point of comfort, but far away from any pain.

"Get up here, I want to kiss you."

Suzaku released Lelouch's cock with a wet slurp and moved over his body, his fingers shifting inside Lelouch as he cut off Lelouch's gasp with his lips.

He tasted oddly salty, almost bitter. It wasn't bad. In fact, Lelouch didn't think he'd mind reciprocating.

Later. For now… "I think I'm ready." He smiled at Suzaku, fumbling for a condom. "Go ahead."

Suzaku swallowed, his adam's apple bobbing hard in his throat. "You sure?"

Lelouch spread his legs. "Well… let's see how it goes. Your fingers felt…" He could feel his face flushing. "Just try."

"Okay." Suzaku didn't sound overly confident, but he shifted on the bed, sliding on the condom and positioning himself between Lelouch's legs. "Um…"

"Go ahead. I'll let you know if I want you to stop."

Suzaku nodded. "Kay." He pushed in slowly, and Lelouch felt himself opening for him. "H-how's that?"

Lelouch laughed, a little shakily. "It's… well, it's still big…" He felt the vibration from Suzaku's suppressed laughter at that throughout his entire body. "_Ah_, it's… good. It's… I can take more."

Suzaku took him at his word, pressing in deeper, nearly trembling with the effort of holding back. "Okay?"

"Yes, it's…" Suzaku was inside him. Suzaku was _inside him_! "It's fine. It's… wonderful, Suzaku. Everything I wanted, and _ah_!"

Suzaku froze. "What?"

"No, it's good, keep going!" Suzaku started moving again, but the sharp jolt that travelled from inside Lelouch's ass to the tip of his cock didn't happen again. Maybe it was an anomaly, and it wouldn't happen again? Lelouch couldn't quite think straight, the blood rushing through his veins, his heart pounding, every singe molecule of his being focused on where Suzaku was joining with him. He had the vague memory of reading something about the prostate, but then Suzaku slid completely inside him, and all thoughts flew out of Lelouch's head.

"Um… what now?" Suzaku asked.

Lelouch had to take a moment to remember how to breathe. "Ah, I think… you can move."

Suzaku tried a short thrust and Lelouch arched against the bed as the friction seemed to stretch him wider. "Ah! Hah… yes. I can take that. Do it again." Suzaku did and Lelouch gasped and arched again, his fingers digging into the sheets. "It's good. Suzaku, it's _good_…" He couldn't seem to find the words, reduced to repeating himself.

"Thank goodness," Suzaku breathed out, bending over (and bending Lelouch nearly in half) to kiss Lelouch's lips before he started to thrust in earnest, deep and steady, his eyes fixed on Lelouch's face. It wasn't fast or hard or anything like in the movie. Suzaku's rhythm faltered often as he switched grips or position or slipped against the sheets, and Lelouch's arms flailed on occasion, searching for something to grip, alternating between the sheets and Suzaku's skin and the pillow under his head. It was awkward and ungainly and messy and physically hard work, but…

It was happening. And it was good.

Suzaku's grip slipped once again and his angle changed. Before Lelouch could adjust, Suzaku thrust in and that spark of pure pleasure shot up Lelouch's spine. He cried out, louder than before, and grabbed Suzaku's hips. "There! Do that again!"

"Really?" Suzaku gasped out, looking just as excited as Lelouch was. It took him a few more tries, but he managed to hit that spot again, and then again, and then Lelouch was coming.

This was the first time an orgasm had taken him by surprise, by both its timing and its strength. He could hear Suzaku's echoing groan, feel his movements abruptly stop, and then he was wrapped in Suzaku's arms, with Suzaku's breath panting in his ear, buzzing with small aftershocks, a warm glow coming over him.

So that was sex. Lelouch smiled. Another skill mastered.

"That was amazing," Suzaku said, echoing Lelouch's thoughts. "Did you…"

"Definitely," Lelouch answered, not caring what the question was. "I want to do this again."

"Me too."

"Next time, I want to suck your cock."

"…are you always going to have such a filthy mouth after sex?"

Lelouch managed to raise an arm enough to smack Suzaku's shoulder. "We'll find out."

"Mmm, yeah…" Suzaku smiled and turned Lelouch's head towards him. "We sure will."

Lelouch still enjoyed kissing Suzaku, just as much as he had before they'd had sex. It reminded him of why he'd gone through all this.

Because Suzaku.


End file.
